Thursday, April 24, 2008

Good words, good times, good memories...

Brings me back...and forward...

Held in hands, a warm cup
Of skin always taken in by peers
And friends and the heightened fears
Over the years
Now I know I'm not like everyone
In this head I see the ground
You came from, unknown, undug
From where you were staying in
A backyard bed until
We came together
Raspberry, in my hand
You feel alright but I don't
Know if I am
I can't change
What I am right now, but
I'll be fine in the next life
I know I can say, I'm honest
With myself and with
My red tasty gem
And sure they will try, but
They can't take away
My secret loving friend
And on a good day, my mind
Is like the wide open
A breath of zen that's nice
On the eyes, lonely, without a prayer
Take the trip that I have
I am at risk
But I guess you know...
From the goldfish bowl
Of blue girls crying stars
The more the garden sings
The harder it gets to stay in
There are a lot of choices
So many voices ruling me
So many of them at once
Yelling, "Everything's a mess"...I know

I loved this one too...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I remember when spam only came in a can...

I remember, stepping into the computer room when I was in grade 4 and sitting at an old Apple computer. No color on these ones...just green text and pixelated. I remember playing the Oregon Trail and a matching game that sang the Turkey in the Del (or whatever that song was). We saved on this big 8" floppy disks...remember those? We'd have to be so careful not to touch the exposed section of the actual data and always had to touch metal to remove static before touching the computers. There were 3 out of 20 or so computers that were color and first person in the room got the color ones. I think I did once, it was exciting.

I also remember getting the internet for the first time. I think I was 11 or 12 years old. We had a table downstairs with the new computer that had replaced our Amega 2000 (I miss Emerald Mines). I remember sitting with my dad and watching a web site load for 15 minutes. In those days, ads were few and SPAM was non-existent. As the wold wide web began to grow it was infested with people hounding you. SPAM is basically
the use of mailing lists to blanket Usenet groups or private e-mail boxes with indiscrimination, unsolicited messages of a promotional nature. Let me check for you right now how much spam I have received in the last 24 hours...
The e-mail address I use for gaming and for my internet personality,
38 spams
My personal e-mail address
633 spams

Work e-mail
86 spams

Other work e-mail
125 spams

Well I guess I need more watches, better perfume, a bigger penis and to
send some stranger money so they can open a bank account in this country. I am getting over 800 SPAMS a day...this is insane. To top it off, I received one on my cell phone the other day! Some girl selling videos of her in the bath tub...

Ya know, companies are being terrible to their customers because a lot of the spam I receive is their fault. They sell name lists all the time. I worked for a few months for a company that visited new residence of the city. We received our list from the cable company, when someone changed their address they were flagged in the system and placed on our monthly list. And we paid for it. I often wonder who else is selling my name...and for what reason...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


The changing styles

I thought this was cute...

Don't let yourself go...

A fear of mine in life, ever since I lost all my excess weight, was gaining it all back later in life. I have many friends who are married now and so many of them have just given up. One friend was smaller then me, after she got married she gained at least 100 lbs. She sort of gave up on life in general. When I moved away I had one night left and was hoping to see her before I left. She called to say that her husband was saying home that night, so she was going to stay home too. Last chance to see me and that's what happened? I have not seen her since. The kicker was...I'm the one that set her up with her husband. She is now still very big. In fact, almost everyone I know that has been married has gained a lot of weight after marriage. Do not give up on yourself, if you do not want to stay in shape for your spouse...DO IT FOR YOURSELF!

This does not only apply to married people, anyone, why do you not take care of yourself? I do not understand how you can risk your health so much and not do anything about it. Personally, I want to live as long as I can and as healthy as I can. I am only 25 yet I eat healthy, organic and balanced diets. I do splurge now and then, but my every day choices are well thought out. I was buying groceries on Saturday, my cart was full of veggies, items that contain no added salt, organic yogurt, goats milk and various other items. If you stop eating foods with added salt you will be amazed at the flavours you discover! I cook everything from scratch and know what is going in my meals, if you plan, this is just as easy as opening a box of mac and cheese. If you do not have the time to cook, make better choices. Have salads, buy soups with reduced salt, there is so much you can do. The man in front of me at the grocery store, was so big he could not bend over to pick up the items off the bottom rack of his shopping cart. Yet his cart was filled with cheezies, extremely salty soups and other prepared foods. His wife was there to pay and I just wondered to myself, if you love him, why don't you help him.

Do it for you, not for anyone else...FOR YOU. I eat the way I do, go to the gym at least 3 times a week and walk to work when I can...only for me. I am still not a skinny person, but I feel good, I only see my doctor once a year and when I do she always comments how good my blood work is and how healthy I am. So look at yourself, and try. I would say it is important to be happy with yourself, but I know how hard that is. I am my worst critic, never feel great about myself or feel that I do not deserve when good things come to me and am always shocked. But I am growing to at least accept myself and make the best of it. Always improve.

My goose bumps for the day...for some odd reason...

The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God layed me down into your rose
Garden of trust
And I was swept away
With nothing left to say
Some helpless fool yet I was lost
In a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find.
So when the time is right.
Come to me sweetly, come to me.
Come to me.

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Oh yeah we'll meet again,
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All i can do to try and breathe
Let me breath
So that I
So we can go together

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Life is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
We are lost 'till we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over

Over, over, la la la la la la la
Come to me,
Come to me,
Yeah la la la la la la la
Come to me

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cryin'?
See the road rise up to meet us
It´s in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Life is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
We are lost 'till we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over, over, over, over

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up, to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Love will lead us, alright
Oh yeah
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Love will lead us, alright

Monday, April 14, 2008

What will this be like?

Go to:

go CTRL + A to select all and then click on each individual space that appears throughout the page. You'll have to go back to get them all.

This ended up catching my eye as well...

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Four Agreements

I recently overheard someone talking about four agreements to better your life. I ended up asking this person to e-mail them to me because I wanted to examine them farther. Here they are:

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz


Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.


Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.


Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.


Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

These rules seem very simple, but I think once you get down to it they are much more complicated. Be impeccable with your word, well, since I suffer from the problem of saying what is on my mind this one is a little easier for me. I am honest, and sometimes bluntly. Some love it and some hate it. One thing I can work on is gossip, I try and avoid it but for some reason drama is sometimes unavoidable.

Don't take anything personally. This could be good or bad. If someone insults you, you can easily say "hey dude, that's your opinion" and not take it personally. But then if someone compliments you, the same thing can apply. "Hey dude, that's your opinion" means you do not take the compliment...and I have enough problems with that anyway. Taking things personally is a problem I do have sometimes and will worker harder to avoid.

Don't make assumptions, ah yes, another thing I must work in, easier said than done. I always assume the worst, that way if it is not as bad as it seems, I am happy instead of being disappointed the other way around. I need to ask more questions before assuming. Guessing what people mean or are feeling always ends badly and remember to assume is to make an ass out of u and me.

Always do your best, not a problem. I try to do my best at everything I do. Hence graduating college with honours, working 2 positions at work and still getting all my work done, 3rd place in Canada for a violin competition, co-captain of my gaming team within just over a month of being recruited. If I'm going to do anything worth doing, I'm going to at least give it my all!!

Always improve your life in some way.

Work like you don't need money,
like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one's watching.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I love it...the only ad to give me goose bumps...

Here's to the moment...(by Glen Hunt)

A Moment If You Please
Moments Can Be Short
Moments Can Be Long
There Are Moments Of Joy
Moments Of Sorrow
Moments Of Passion
Moments You'll Never Forget
Moments Youve Already Forgotten
Moments You Didn't Get
There Are Awkward Moments
Senior Moments
Moments Of Truth
And Momentary Lapses In Judgment
People Who Ask For A Moment
Share A Moment
I Need A Moment
You Got A Moment?
Hey, Wait A Moment
You Can Take A Moment
Make A Moment
Spoil A Moment
And If All The Stars Line In Just The Right Moment,
That Moment Can Be Perfect
Moments Can Define You
Moments Can Delight You
And Moments Can Change Your Life
Heres To The Moment And
Squeezing All You Can Out Of Every Last Single One Of Them
Pursue The Moment

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Let the goose bumps flow...

This song got to me this morning...

Two Step

Say, my love, I came to you
With best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
Im seeking
Love, you drive me to distraction

Hey my love do you believe that we
Might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this?
Our flesh and blood it ties
You and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
These things we cannot change

Hey, my love, you came to me like
Wine comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and you
Quench my mind

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
The things we cannot

Celebrate, you and me, climbing
Two by two, to be sure
These days continue, things we cannot change

Oh, my love, I came to you
With best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
Im seeking

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
Things we cannot change...
Things we cannot change

Friday, April 4, 2008

Can I follow you?

I often wonder how many people see someone that they are unexplainably attracted too. Now I'm not talking only physical attraction or having the hots for someone...more of a wanting to look at someone, be near them for no reason, when you don't even know them.

I remember, I was 15 and traveling through France, B
elgium and Holland visiting family. My mom and I went to tour an old church with my aunt. This church was amazing, after walking up stairs for 3 minutes just to get to the front door, I noticed a man standing in the doorway, looking up at the front of the building. He was probably in his late 20s to mid 30s, not overly attractive but for some reason I was drawn to him. I ended up following him around the church for an hour, just watching I wonder if he ever noticed, and if so, what he thought. He did not once turn to look at me, or seemed to even notice I was there.
These unexplainable attractions happen once in a while and I wonder where they come from. Just something that is left to chance? Chemistry? Something from another life perhaps? Someone that will have an impact in the future? Who knows. There is a lady who calls in at work who I could listen to all day. I do not know her well, and her voice isn't really that breathtaking...but for some reason I could just sit and listen to her talk. Good thing she's a chatty person.

Even online these unexplainable attraction can happen. It is amazing how you can be doing something and someone will say something to you and you pass by. You'll be doing the same thing, and a different person will say the exact same words...and it blossoms into an amazing friendship. What determines this chemistry? Why do we end up as friends with one person and not with another? I would like to know what draws people to each other? I've been told that it is based on looks and other factors, you go to those that you are attracted to. This is not true in many situations. And how can this be true on the internet?
I was in Tim Horton's this morning, and there was someone standing in the other line. I did not find them attractive in any way, but I could not stop looking at them, and when I did glance up, they were looking at me as well. We even both said hi at the same time as they passed by me to leave the building. I did not know them at all, but it felt like I did, from some place. And what about those people that you randomly run into all the time? There is a man around town, that I see everywhere. It seems that whenever I'm out, at the mall, getting groceries and other things, he's there. And I remember him because he's very eye catching, he has this amazing long gray hair...with this really young face. It's a curious look, your brain tells you that the youngness of the face and the oldness of his hair do not go together, yet your eyes tell you it just fits. I go to a music festival every year, and after 7 years of attending and camping in 5 different locations, EVERY SINGLE YEAR I end up camped next to the same group. It is never planned and I usually end up realizing it after everyone is set up. How do those things work? It is almost like you are tied together in the universe some how.

It still amazes me when you randomly meet someone, that you would expect to be so different, but you are drawn to them for no reason. After getting to know them, you find that you have insane amounts of things in common and you just cannot get enough of each other. After a few months you don't even remember exactly how you met and when and it feels likes you've known them forever! The universe is strange, and amazing.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Earth hour...are you kidding me?

I've been hearing a lot about this Earth Hour that has been happening. The goal this year was to turn off lights in 20 major cities around the world for 1 hour. This is supposed to save as much energy as taking over 40,000 cars off the road for a year. Does it sound wonderful? At first I thought this is a great idea and was all hyped about it. Until I read more...

The Earth Hour web site provided a lot of information...sadly most of it made me question the whole event. First off, they specifically state "
are asking people to turn off the nonessential lights for one hour – no lights that affect public safety will be turned off. We want everyone to enjoy Earth Hour in a safe and energy efficient environment." If these lights are 'nonessential' in the first place, wtf are they doing on? TURN THEM OFF IF THEY ARE NOT IMPORTANT!! Why wait until some special hour on a special day once a year to make sure you lights are off. In my house we have a rule, if you're not in that room, the lights shouldn't be on.The second point that threw me off while doing some research was the fact that coal fired power stations continue producing at a certain capacity even when electricity goes down. On the Earth Hour website they defend their position by claiming that if energy goes down for an hour then they will have to readjust their coal usage. I highly doubt their whole process will be readjusted in one hour. Also, if they do, then when everyone turns those unneeded lights back on after the hour, they will have to frantically INCREASE coal usage in order to catch up with the rush of power needed.In the end I do agree that this is a good thing to promote, turning off lights and trying to save energy. However, the WWF needs focus more on having those participate be a solution long term. Hopefully those who participate in Earth Hour feel there is an impact being made and they continue to keep unneeded lights turned off and save energy any way they can. It is also a good thing for families to do to teach their children. I just think it's sad that we need to do something at this scale to save our own earth.