Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


This e-mail I received today really caught my attention...

British news paper salutes Canada . . . this is a good read. It is
funny how it took someone in England to put it into words...
Sunday Telegraph Article From today's UK wires:
Salute to a brave and modest nation - Kevin Myers, 'The Sunday
Telegraph' LONDON :

Until the deaths of Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan , probably
almost no one outside their home country had been aware that Canadian
troops are deployed in the region.

And as always, Canada will bury its dead, just as the rest of the
world, as always will forget its sacrifice, just as it always forgets
nearly everything Canada ever does.. It seems that Canada 's historic
mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of
complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and
truly ignored.

Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the
hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance. A fire
breaks out, she risks life and limb to rescue her fellow dance-goers,
and suffers serious injuries. But when the hall is repaired and the
dancing resumes, there is Canada, the wallflower still, while those
she once helped Glamorously cavort across the floor, blithely
neglecting her yet again.

That is the price Canada pays for sharing the North American continent
with the United States , and for being a selfless friend of Britain in
two global conflicts.

For much of the 20th century, Canada was torn in two different
directions: It seemed to be a part of the old world, yet had an
address in the new one, and that divided identity ensured that it
never fully got the gratitude it deserved.

Yet it's purely voluntary contribution to the cause of freedom in two
world wars was perhaps the greatest of any democracy. Almost 10% of
Canada 's entire population of seven million people served in the
armed forces during the First World War, and nearly 60,000 died. The
great Allied victories of 1918 were spearheaded by Canadian troops,
perhaps the most capable soldiers in the entire British order of

Canada was repaid for its enormous sacrifice by downright neglect,
it's unique contribution to victory being absorbed into the popular
Memory as somehow or other the work of the 'British.'

The Second World War provided a re-run. The Canadian navy began the
war with a half dozen vessels, and ended up policing nearly half of
the Atlantic against U-boat attack. More than 120 Canadian warships
participated in the Normandy landings, during which 15,000 Canadian
soldiers went ashore on D-Day alone.

Canada finished the war with the third-largest navy and the fourth
largest air force in the world. The world thanked Canada with the
same sublime indifference as it had the previous time.

Canadian participation in the war was acknowledged in film only if it
was necessary to give an American actor a part in a campaign in which
the United States had clearly not participated - a touching
scrupulousness which, of course, Hollywood has since abandoned, as it
has any notion of a separate Canadian identity.

So it is a general rule that actors and filmmakers arriving in
Hollywood keep their nationality - unless, that is, they are Canadian.
Thus Mary Pickford, Walter Huston, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox,
William Shatner, Norman Jewison, David Cronenberg, Alex Trebek, Art
Linkletter and Dan Aykroyd have in the popular perception become
American, and Christopher Plummer, British.

It is as if, in the very act of becoming famous, a Canadian ceases to
be Canadian, unless she is Margaret Atwood, who is as unshakably
Canadian as a moose, or Celine Dion, for whom Canada has proved quite
unable to find any takers.

Moreover, Canada is every bit as querulously alert to the achievements
of its sons and daughters as the rest of the world is completely
unaware of them. The Canadians proudly say of themselves - and are
unheard by anyone else - that 1% of the world's population has
provided 10% of the world's peacekeeping forces.

Canadian soldiers in the past half century have been the greatest
peacekeepers on Earth - in 39 missions on UN mandates, and six on
non-UN peacekeeping duties, from Vietnam to East Timor, from Sinai to

Yet the only foreign engagement that has entered the popular
non-Canadian imagination was the sorry affair in Somalia , in which
out-of-control paratroopers murdered two Somali infiltrators. Their
regiment was then disbanded in disgrace - a uniquely Canadian act of
self-abasement for which, naturally, the Canadians received no
international credit.

So who today in the United States knows about the stoic and selfless
friendship its northern neighbour has given it in Afghanistan ?

Rather like Cyrano de Bergerac , Canada repeatedly does honourable
things for honourable motives, but instead of being thanked for it, it
remains something of a figure of fun. It is the Canadian way, for
which Canadians should be proud, yet such honour comes at a high cost.
This past year more grieving Canadian families knew that cost all too
tragically well.

Lest we forget.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

You drive me crazy...

Come Here baby
You know you drive me up a wall the way you make good on all the nasty tricks you pull
Seems like we're makin' up more than we're makin' love
And it always seems you got somn' on your mind other than me
Girl, you got to change your crazy ways
You hear me

Say you're leavin' on a seven thirty train and that you're headin' out to Hollywood
Girl you been givin' me that line so many times it kinda gets like feelin' bad looks good

That kinda lovin'
Turns a man to a slave
That kinda lovin'
Sends a man right to his grave...

I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy
You turn it on
Then you're gone
Yeah you drive me
Crazy, crazy, crazy, for you baby
What can I do, honey
I feel like the color blue...

You're packin' up your stuff and talkin' like it's tough and tryin' to tell me that it's time to go
But I know you ain't wearin' nothin' underneath that overcoat
And it's all a show

That kind of lovin'
Makes me wanna pull
Down the shade, yeah
That kind of lovin'
Yeah now I'm never, never, never, never gonna be the same

I'm losin' my mind, girl
Cause I'm goin' crazy

I need your love, honey
I need your love

Crazy, crazy, crazy, I go crazy
You turn it on
Then you're gone
Yeah you drive me
Crazy, crazy, crazy, for you baby
I'm losin' my mind, girl
ÔCause I'm goin' crazy
Crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby
You turn it on, then your gone
Yeah you drive me

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I am orange today...


I am green today
I chirp with joy like a cricket song.
I am gray today
Gloomy and down like a morning fog.
I am orange today
Loud and messy like finger paint on the wall.
I am red today
Hopping mad like a playground ball.
I am black today
Strong and tall a great big bear.
I am purple today
Bright and happy like a butterfly in the air.
I’m a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I’m a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I’m a rainbow today
All the colors of the world are in me.
I am yellow today
I shine my light out like the sun.
I am white today
Soft and quite like new snow.
I am blue today
Calm as glass and cool like the sea.
I’m a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I’m a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I’m a rainbow today
All the colors of the world are in me.
All the colors of the world are in me.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Wear Sunscreen

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term
benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or
reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won't understand the power and
beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of
yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous
you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra
equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides
you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is
long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people
I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll
divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half
chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the
greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in
the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps
and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you
were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you
do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children
respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse,
but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia;
dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and
recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, on the sunscreen.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

This song brings the goose bumps. Not sure why I like it...

She woke from a dream
Her head was on fire
Why was he so nervous?
He took her to the park

She crossed her arms
And lowered her eyelids

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
A question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Baby, tonight I've got a question for you

She'd had no idea
And started to cry
She said "in a good way"
He took her by the hand
Walked her back home
And they took the long way

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
The question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life

Maybe tonight I've got a question for you

I've got a question for you...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My new camera...

I have a new camera and decided that people were sick of seeing my pictures. So I will post them here and people can choose to look at them or not.

It hailed today...and the hail hurt my daisies...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


I still love this video and song for some reason. Too bad embed is disabled.


The world I know...

"The World I Know"

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

Are we listening?
Hymns of offering.
Have we eyes to see?
Love is gathering.
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

What an amazing world!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Ani made me think this morning...

They were digging a new foundation in Manhattan
And they discovered a slave cemetery there
May their souls rest easy now that lynching is frowned upon
And we've moved on to the electric chair
And I wonder who's gonna be president
Tweedle Dumb or Tweedle Dumber?
And who's gonna have the big
Blockbuster box office
This summer
How 'bout we put up a wall
Between the houses and the highway
And then you can go your way
And I can go my way
Except all the radios agree with all the TV's
And all the magazines agree with all the radios
And I keep hearing that same damn song
Everywhere I go
Maybe I should put a bucket over my head
And a marshmallow in each ear
And stumble around for another dumb numb week
For another hum drum hit song to appear
People used to make records
As in a record of an event
The event of people
Playing music in a room
Now everything is cross-marketing
It's about sunglasses and shoes
Or guns or drugs
You choose
We got it rehashed
We got it half-assed
We're digging up all the graves
And we're spitting on the past
And we can choose between the colors
Of the lipstick on the whores
Cuz we know the difference
Between the font of twenty percent more
And the font of teriyaki
You tell me
How does that make you feel?
You tell me what's real
They say that alcoholics are always alcoholics
Even when they're dry as my lips for years
Even when they're stranded on a small desert island
With no place in two thousand miles to buy beer
And I wonder is he different
Is he different
Has he changed
What he's about
Or is he just a liar
With nothing to lie about
Am I headed for the same brick wall
Is there anything I can do
About anything at all
Except go back to that corner in Manhattan
And dig deeper
Dig deeper this time
Down beneath the impossible pain of our history
Beneath unknown bones
Beneath the bedrock of the mystery
Beneath the sewage system and the path train
Beneath the cobblestones and the water main
Beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals
Beneath the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels
Beneath everything I can think of to think about
Beneath it all
Beneath all get out
Beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel
Ther'es a fire that's just waiting for fuel

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Well done!

Team Fortress 2 - Meet the Red Team from Laurence Oliver Chase on Vimeo.

Taking my time...

I forgot this morning that I did not have my car, due to one of our cars being broken I automatically lose mine. I woke up a little later thinking I could leave 5 minutes before work and make it on time. When I was fully awake I remembered I was on my own.

I quickly got ready, grabbed left over lasagna for lunch, threw oatmeal, sunflower seeds, raisins and brown sugar in my thermos and poured a cup of boiling water over it and ran out the door. That is the best breakfast because when I get to work the oatmeal is soft and raisins are all plump and juicy. Anyway, going between a light jog and brisk walk I did not have much time to enjoy my trip to work. However, I still noticed the world coming to life again after the cold winter. Buds on the trees, tulips blooming, those wonderful smells. Nature is breathtaking and truly amazing. I glance at these things...and then see a poor cat, dead on the side of the road, hit by a car. Another block away I see a bird, crumpled on the sidewalk, also probably hit by a car. Tears spring to my eyes for these poor creatures. Humans seem to destroy everything. However, if nature chose to do so, it could take us out with one swoop. I switched on the weather channel before I left the house this morning, fires and extremely strong winds in Florida...and then rain and devastating flooding in another area.

Respect it, enjoy it, because nature and the weather can be vengeful. The best part of my trot to work was coming around the corner by a park where the lawn was freshly cut. The smell from that grass and soil made me stop for a second...just to breath.

I can't break away...

All my life I wanted to fly
Like the birds that you see way up in the sky
Making circles in the morning sun
Flying high in the sky 'till the day is done
(I can't break away)
Like a child in his fantasy
Punching holes in the walls of reality
All my life I wanted to fly
But I don't have the wings and I wonder why
(I can't breakaway)

Woha, well momma told me,
When I was young,
Stand tall girl
Your number one
(she said)
But you can't be what you wanna be
But you can shake the course of your destiny
I can't break away
(omina, doke doe, onimea)
Well no, no ,no ,no, no
I can't break away
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
Oh yeah,
I share,
I share you, who?
One is one
And two is two
You want me
And I hang you
Black is Black (black is black)
And white is white (whit is white)
So come out in the middle
'Till midnight
I cant break away
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
Well no, no ,no ,no, no
I can't break away
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah-heh-heh

Well momma told me,
When I was young,
Stand tall girl (stand tall girl)
Your number one (your number one)
(she said)
You can't be what you wanna be
But you can change the course of your destiny
I can't break away
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
No, no, no ,no, no
I can't break away
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
I can't, I can't, I can't break away
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
No, no, no., no, no
I can't breakaway
(omina, doke doe, ominea)
Woo ooo ooo oh oh
I can't break away (I can't break away)

Friday, May 9, 2008

Why do we pay to be unhealthy?

I went for supper tonight at a fast food restaurant. Explain to me why when I order a grilled chicken sandwich, side salad and no drink. I paid more than someone who bought a chicken sandwich, fries and a pop. So how come the guy who was the greasy deep fried french fries and the pop full of sugar, caffeine and other crap pays less than I do when all i want was a grilled chicken sandwich and a salad. And it wasn't just a few cents different, it was over a $1.00.

In the world today people should reward you for making healthier choices! Get a free side salad when you order a grilled sandwich and juice... but no, they reward the bad choices. Very frustrating.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

In my head...

Been singing this song for no reason at all...



Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone,
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Good words, good times, good memories...

Brings me back...and forward...

Held in hands, a warm cup
Of skin always taken in by peers
And friends and the heightened fears
Over the years
Now I know I'm not like everyone
In this head I see the ground
You came from, unknown, undug
From where you were staying in
A backyard bed until
We came together
Raspberry, in my hand
You feel alright but I don't
Know if I am
I can't change
What I am right now, but
I'll be fine in the next life
I know I can say, I'm honest
With myself and with
My red tasty gem
And sure they will try, but
They can't take away
My secret loving friend
And on a good day, my mind
Is like the country...green wide open
A breath of zen that's nice
On the eyes, lonely, without a prayer
Take the trip that I have
I am at risk
But I guess you know...
From the goldfish bowl
Of blue girls crying stars
The more the garden sings
The harder it gets to stay in
There are a lot of choices
So many voices ruling me
So many of them at once
Yelling, "Everything's a mess"...I know

I loved this one too...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I remember when spam only came in a can...

I remember, stepping into the computer room when I was in grade 4 and sitting at an old Apple computer. No color on these ones...just green text and pixelated. I remember playing the Oregon Trail and a matching game that sang the Turkey in the Del (or whatever that song was). We saved on this big 8" floppy disks...remember those? We'd have to be so careful not to touch the exposed section of the actual data and always had to touch metal to remove static before touching the computers. There were 3 out of 20 or so computers that were color and first person in the room got the color ones. I think I did once, it was exciting.

I also remember getting the internet for the first time. I think I was 11 or 12 years old. We had a table downstairs with the new computer that had replaced our Amega 2000 (I miss Emerald Mines). I remember sitting with my dad and watching a web site load for 15 minutes. In those days, ads were few and SPAM was non-existent. As the wold wide web began to grow it was infested with people hounding you. SPAM is basically
the use of mailing lists to blanket Usenet groups or private e-mail boxes with indiscrimination, unsolicited messages of a promotional nature. Let me check for you right now how much spam I have received in the last 24 hours...
The e-mail address I use for gaming and for my internet personality,
38 spams
My personal e-mail address
633 spams

Work e-mail
86 spams

Other work e-mail
125 spams

Well I guess I need more watches, better perfume, a bigger penis and to
send some stranger money so they can open a bank account in this country. I am getting over 800 SPAMS a day...this is insane. To top it off, I received one on my cell phone the other day! Some girl selling videos of her in the bath tub...

Ya know, companies are being terrible to their customers because a lot of the spam I receive is their fault. They sell name lists all the time. I worked for a few months for a company that visited new residence of the city. We received our list from the cable company, when someone changed their address they were flagged in the system and placed on our monthly list. And we paid for it. I often wonder who else is selling my name...and for what reason...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


The changing styles

I thought this was cute...

Don't let yourself go...

A fear of mine in life, ever since I lost all my excess weight, was gaining it all back later in life. I have many friends who are married now and so many of them have just given up. One friend was smaller then me, after she got married she gained at least 100 lbs. She sort of gave up on life in general. When I moved away I had one night left and was hoping to see her before I left. She called to say that her husband was saying home that night, so she was going to stay home too. Last chance to see me and that's what happened? I have not seen her since. The kicker was...I'm the one that set her up with her husband. She is now still very big. In fact, almost everyone I know that has been married has gained a lot of weight after marriage. Do not give up on yourself, if you do not want to stay in shape for your spouse...DO IT FOR YOURSELF!

This does not only apply to married people, anyone, why do you not take care of yourself? I do not understand how you can risk your health so much and not do anything about it. Personally, I want to live as long as I can and as healthy as I can. I am only 25 yet I eat healthy, organic and balanced diets. I do splurge now and then, but my every day choices are well thought out. I was buying groceries on Saturday, my cart was full of veggies, items that contain no added salt, organic yogurt, goats milk and various other items. If you stop eating foods with added salt you will be amazed at the flavours you discover! I cook everything from scratch and know what is going in my meals, if you plan, this is just as easy as opening a box of mac and cheese. If you do not have the time to cook, make better choices. Have salads, buy soups with reduced salt, there is so much you can do. The man in front of me at the grocery store, was so big he could not bend over to pick up the items off the bottom rack of his shopping cart. Yet his cart was filled with cheezies, extremely salty soups and other prepared foods. His wife was there to pay and I just wondered to myself, if you love him, why don't you help him.

Do it for you, not for anyone else...FOR YOU. I eat the way I do, go to the gym at least 3 times a week and walk to work when I can...only for me. I am still not a skinny person, but I feel good, I only see my doctor once a year and when I do she always comments how good my blood work is and how healthy I am. So look at yourself, and try. I would say it is important to be happy with yourself, but I know how hard that is. I am my worst critic, never feel great about myself or feel that I do not deserve when good things come to me and am always shocked. But I am growing to at least accept myself and make the best of it. Always improve.

My goose bumps for the day...for some odd reason...

The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God layed me down into your rose
Garden of trust
And I was swept away
With nothing left to say
Some helpless fool yet I was lost
In a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find.
So when the time is right.
Come to me sweetly, come to me.
Come to me.

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Oh yeah we'll meet again,
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All i can do to try and breathe
Let me breath
So that I
So we can go together

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Life is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
We are lost 'till we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over

Over, over, la la la la la la la
Come to me,
Come to me,
Yeah la la la la la la la
Come to me

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cryin'?
See the road rise up to meet us
It´s in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Life is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
We are lost 'till we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over, over, over, over

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up, to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Love will lead us, alright
Oh yeah
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Love will lead us, alright

Monday, April 14, 2008

What will this be like?

Go to:


go CTRL + A to select all and then click on each individual space that appears throughout the page. You'll have to go back to get them all.

This ended up catching my eye as well...


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Four Agreements

I recently overheard someone talking about four agreements to better your life. I ended up asking this person to e-mail them to me because I wanted to examine them farther. Here they are:

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz


Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.


Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.


Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.


Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

These rules seem very simple, but I think once you get down to it they are much more complicated. Be impeccable with your word, well, since I suffer from the problem of saying what is on my mind this one is a little easier for me. I am honest, and sometimes bluntly. Some love it and some hate it. One thing I can work on is gossip, I try and avoid it but for some reason drama is sometimes unavoidable.

Don't take anything personally. This could be good or bad. If someone insults you, you can easily say "hey dude, that's your opinion" and not take it personally. But then if someone compliments you, the same thing can apply. "Hey dude, that's your opinion" means you do not take the compliment...and I have enough problems with that anyway. Taking things personally is a problem I do have sometimes and will worker harder to avoid.

Don't make assumptions, ah yes, another thing I must work in, easier said than done. I always assume the worst, that way if it is not as bad as it seems, I am happy instead of being disappointed the other way around. I need to ask more questions before assuming. Guessing what people mean or are feeling always ends badly and remember to assume is to make an ass out of u and me.

Always do your best, not a problem. I try to do my best at everything I do. Hence graduating college with honours, working 2 positions at work and still getting all my work done, 3rd place in Canada for a violin competition, co-captain of my gaming team within just over a month of being recruited. If I'm going to do anything worth doing, I'm going to at least give it my all!!

Always improve your life in some way.

Work like you don't need money,
like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one's watching.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I love it...the only ad to give me goose bumps...

Here's to the moment...(by Glen Hunt)

A Moment If You Please
Moments Can Be Short
Moments Can Be Long
There Are Moments Of Joy
Moments Of Sorrow
Moments Of Passion
Moments You'll Never Forget
Moments Youve Already Forgotten
Moments You Didn't Get
There Are Awkward Moments
Senior Moments
Moments Of Truth
And Momentary Lapses In Judgment
People Who Ask For A Moment
Share A Moment
I Need A Moment
You Got A Moment?
Hey, Wait A Moment
You Can Take A Moment
Make A Moment
Spoil A Moment
And If All The Stars Line In Just The Right Moment,
That Moment Can Be Perfect
Moments Can Define You
Moments Can Delight You
And Moments Can Change Your Life
Heres To The Moment And
Squeezing All You Can Out Of Every Last Single One Of Them
Pursue The Moment

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Let the goose bumps flow...

This song got to me this morning...

Two Step

Say, my love, I came to you
With best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
Im seeking
Love, you drive me to distraction

Hey my love do you believe that we
Might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this?
Our flesh and blood it ties
You and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
These things we cannot change

Hey, my love, you came to me like
Wine comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and you
Quench my mind

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
The things we cannot

Celebrate, you and me, climbing
Two by two, to be sure
These days continue, things we cannot change

Oh, my love, I came to you
With best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
Im seeking

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
Things we cannot change...
Things we cannot change

Friday, April 4, 2008

Can I follow you?

I often wonder how many people see someone that they are unexplainably attracted too. Now I'm not talking only physical attraction or having the hots for someone...more of a wanting to look at someone, be near them for no reason, when you don't even know them.

I remember, I was 15 and traveling through France, B
elgium and Holland visiting family. My mom and I went to tour an old church with my aunt. This church was amazing, after walking up stairs for 3 minutes just to get to the front door, I noticed a man standing in the doorway, looking up at the front of the building. He was probably in his late 20s to mid 30s, not overly attractive but for some reason I was drawn to him. I ended up following him around the church for an hour, just watching him...now I wonder if he ever noticed, and if so, what he thought. He did not once turn to look at me, or seemed to even notice I was there.
These unexplainable attractions happen once in a while and I wonder where they come from. Just something that is left to chance? Chemistry? Something from another life perhaps? Someone that will have an impact in the future? Who knows. There is a lady who calls in at work who I could listen to all day. I do not know her well, and her voice isn't really that breathtaking...but for some reason I could just sit and listen to her talk. Good thing she's a chatty person.

Even online these unexplainable attraction can happen. It is amazing how you can be doing something and someone will say something to you and you pass by. You'll be doing the same thing, and a different person will say the exact same words...and it blossoms into an amazing friendship. What determines this chemistry? Why do we end up as friends with one person and not with another? I would like to know what draws people to each other? I've been told that it is based on looks and other factors, you go to those that you are attracted to. This is not true in many situations. And how can this be true on the internet?
I was in Tim Horton's this morning, and there was someone standing in the other line. I did not find them attractive in any way, but I could not stop looking at them, and when I did glance up, they were looking at me as well. We even both said hi at the same time as they passed by me to leave the building. I did not know them at all, but it felt like I did, from some place. And what about those people that you randomly run into all the time? There is a man around town, that I see everywhere. It seems that whenever I'm out, at the mall, getting groceries and other things, he's there. And I remember him because he's very eye catching, he has this amazing long gray hair...with this really young face. It's a curious look, your brain tells you that the youngness of the face and the oldness of his hair do not go together, yet your eyes tell you it just fits. I go to a music festival every year, and after 7 years of attending and camping in 5 different locations, EVERY SINGLE YEAR I end up camped next to the same group. It is never planned and I usually end up realizing it after everyone is set up. How do those things work? It is almost like you are tied together in the universe some how.

It still amazes me when you randomly meet someone, that you would expect to be so different, but you are drawn to them for no reason. After getting to know them, you find that you have insane amounts of things in common and you just cannot get enough of each other. After a few months you don't even remember exactly how you met and when and it feels likes you've known them forever! The universe is strange, and amazing.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Earth hour...are you kidding me?

I've been hearing a lot about this Earth Hour that has been happening. The goal this year was to turn off lights in 20 major cities around the world for 1 hour. This is supposed to save as much energy as taking over 40,000 cars off the road for a year. Does it sound wonderful? At first I thought this is a great idea and was all hyped about it. Until I read more...

The Earth Hour web site provided a lot of information...sadly most of it made me question the whole event. First off, they specifically state "
are asking people to turn off the nonessential lights for one hour – no lights that affect public safety will be turned off. We want everyone to enjoy Earth Hour in a safe and energy efficient environment." If these lights are 'nonessential' in the first place, wtf are they doing on? TURN THEM OFF IF THEY ARE NOT IMPORTANT!! Why wait until some special hour on a special day once a year to make sure you lights are off. In my house we have a rule, if you're not in that room, the lights shouldn't be on.The second point that threw me off while doing some research was the fact that coal fired power stations continue producing at a certain capacity even when electricity goes down. On the Earth Hour website they defend their position by claiming that if energy goes down for an hour then they will have to readjust their coal usage. I highly doubt their whole process will be readjusted in one hour. Also, if they do, then when everyone turns those unneeded lights back on after the hour, they will have to frantically INCREASE coal usage in order to catch up with the rush of power needed.In the end I do agree that this is a good thing to promote, turning off lights and trying to save energy. However, the WWF needs focus more on having those participate be a solution long term. Hopefully those who participate in Earth Hour feel there is an impact being made and they continue to keep unneeded lights turned off and save energy any way they can. It is also a good thing for families to do to teach their children. I just think it's sad that we need to do something at this scale to save our own earth.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The 'Zoomers' tell me I can do anything I want...yet they are the ones holding the door closed...

Canada is booming, jobs everywhere. Companies are finding that they have to do more then just pay their employees well in order to keep them...because lately there is always something better out there. Companies are now offering anything from health packages to extra holidays and trips in order to keep employees. Money is not the only thing anymore. With all this growth, the different demographic groups are finding new opportunities. I recently read in Marketing Magazine that many employers are segmenting the working population into the following groups:
  • 35-40 male/female, married or single with no children, that is working up the ladder, but just cannot get to where they want to be.
  • 35- male/female who works very hard with no time for their family or anything else.
  • 25-30 male/female who live off their parent's wealth
  • 17+ who's parents are paying for all their education and will not have to work through school
  • 25 male/female who have a rich life, but no money. Huge debts.
  • 21 male/female who's parents paid for their first trip through school and will paying for the second right away because they could not find work with their first piece of paper.
All these groups are being pushed down by one major group...now called the Zoomers. They are males, age of 44+ and control 77% of Canada's wealth. They travel more, own more homes and pay for more of their children's lives then any other member of the population. They are looking to live their life to the fullest. This is also the population that tells their children they are capable of doing anything they want, yet when you get to the door of opportunity, they are the same people that are shoving the bookcase up against the other side.

I recently applied for a position at a bio-diesel company that opened an office in my
town. I have experience working with oil and gas companies while I was working for an engineering company. I was the only female in that office and did very well, was one of the top inside sales reps. I also have the education required for the position they were filling. This company would not even return my phone calls. I sent in a resume and called several times and heard nothing. I finally went down to their office and inquired about the hiring process. The man at the desk looked at me, did not ask my name or my resume and said "We are currently looking for a different type of person. We can always keep your resumé on file." How did you know I wouldn't fit? You did not know my education, background, work experience anything. So it was either my age...or my tits. Take your pick I guess. I do know, they filled their office and are all men, 35+. So why, when I graduate with honours and am told by my program leader and instructor that I should pursue all these opportunities and that I can go so far in life...people of his same demographic group are shooting me down.

It is not the first time and will not be the last I am sure. At least sit me down, get to know me a little and then make your decision. I toured a local brewery last year, received a personal tour by one of the top management of the company due to a bad case of bear I had purchased. He even showed me their labs and bought me lunch in the restaurant. I spent almost 3 hours with him. After the tour was finished, he offered me a job on their marketing team, just on the spot. He was honest with me as well, and said that when he first saw me he never expected my personality and knowledge. So how do I change this? I did not take the job due to the fact I had just moved to get away from that city. But if I were to ever go back, I would call them first. Companies need to see that the Zoomers are not offering the promised opportunities, and when they all retire at the same time...you will be in trouble.

I was taught by my parents to work hard and reach my goals the right way. I worked three jobs while in college the first time and worked full time my second way through. I now have 2 diplomas and no student loans, so do not tell me that our generation does not know the meaning of work and don't tell me that we are lazy and disrespectful...and stop asking me when I plan to have children!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Let Cam do your breast exam...

This ad was removed from the airways a few years ago. I remember seeing it a few times and it should have been kept on the air. As a woman, I found this advertisement very effective. It caught your attention and made you think. Breast cancer is something feared by all women, yet self examinations are something many do not do because they live by the "it won't happen to me" attitude. This ad makes you think, without scaring you. They are right...they're your breasts...YOU DO IT!

To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

End is the only part of the word
That I heard,
Call me morbid or absurd,
To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

When I go fishing
for the words
I am wishing you would say to me,
I am really only praying that
The words you'll soon be saying
Might betray
The way you feel about me

Friday, March 28, 2008

I'll give hugs just to get hugs...

After this week, all I want is a hug. Maybe a hug from a bird...that could fly me away, in the middle of the hug. A dear friend sensed my stress...and sent me this video. I guess from the fact that it brought tears to my eyes, must mean I am stressed and really do need a hug!!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

One of those bad weeks...so lets smile!

I needed to smile and I'm sure other do as well...

These guys are my heroes...

Even better...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

If the train leaves...who will get on with me?

The words to this song touched me...

This Train

(sorry, embed wouldn't work)

Those low raspy voices always get to me. Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen is one I used to listen to a lot...all the versions on You Tube do NOT do the song justice, so I did not even want to post them.

More raspy voices...
I've always wanted to go as Velcro for Halloween with someone.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

For everyone else who needed a smile today...

Your physical self shows your emotions...

I'm tired and stressed, so I walked to work this morning, to wake me up and give me some time to myself. Fresh air and music is a good way to wake up. When I arrived at work I found an interesting article in my e-mail. This e-mail described how your body displays stress and emotion, so if you are not quite sure how exactly you are feeling, it may help.

The focus was on 3 major areas of the body.

  • Tension or pain in your neck and shoulder area is supposed to show that you have pent up anger you have not communicated.
  • Constriction in your throat and chest show sadness.
  • Tension in your stomach and belt line area show fear or anxiety.
Was an interesting article to read today. My shoulders and neck always hurt, my chiropractor has to continuously stretch them out for me. This area is where I carry my stress...and today it seems that there is a lump in my throat all the time. I am sitting at my desk in my office this morning, listening to my friend's experience yesterday when the vet gave him a card with the paw print of the dog he just lost...tears running down my cheeks. And here they come again, there must be something else causing these feelings. This is unlike me. In the meantime, walking to work, yoga and baking will be my release. Too bad I can't do them all at the same time. : )

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sometimes I feel like this poor guy...

I found this video a few years ago...and thought I would share.

I shed tears, not only for the one I did not know, but for my dear friend who lost her...

One of my very dear friend lost his dog early this morning. She had a bad reaction yesterday to a wasp sting, which resulted in her eventually suffering a stroke.
I did not know her, only received pictures and heard about her all the time. I still weep for her, and for my friend. Insane I know, that I cry for someone's dog, but it is more the pain, I know he is hurting and I wish i could take that away. I think it hits me harder because I almost lost my cat a few weeks ago, and just the thought and reminder that he will die some day, tears my heart out. I wish I could be there for him, and give him a hug. Losing a pet is losing a friend that fills a space no one else can. She was 14 years old and I know had a wonderful life and was loved. My friend was so strong, he said he kept going up until the point he told me this morning. So we shed some tears together.Rest in peace Mallory, I know you will be missed by your dear friend and owner. My thoughts are with you both today.
After the clouds, the sunshine,
after the winter, the spring,
after the shower, the rainbow,
for life is a changeable thing.
After the night, the morning,
bidding all darkness cease,
after life's cares and sorrows,
the comfort and sweetness of peace.

-Helen Steiner Rice

Friday, March 21, 2008

I found loneliness in the company of others...

How come...after working all day outside surrounded by people...I'm so lonely?
It's everywhere...it's like a stench that has saturated my skin...I can smell it in my hair.

by Joel Plaskett
I feel foolish
I wanna drink too much
You look Polish
Got a wicked sense of humor
I feel dizzy, and I want your touch
Let's get tipsy, and start a rumor.

I feel restless here
I can't sit still
Everybody at this party's got their fingers in the till
I bet their parents are ridiculously loaded
Let's get moving, before I'm loaded.

The dancers need a dancefloor,
The swingers gotta swing,
Fashionable people doing questionable things

I really like you, and I hope you like my band.
I like your boyfriend too,
Do you think he undersdtands
I can't remember, how he ended up out here.
But all good things have got to start somewhere.

I don't wanna hang around in someone elses scene
So ditch him, he's no good for you
Ditch him, do the switcheroo
Switch him, switch him up with me
Leave him in the ditch, and you can hitch a ride for free

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Who will win the Ultimate Showdown?

I'm in love with this video and song. So good...find the lyrics here

Now this is dancing...

Everyone should see this video at least once...


In a house thats by the tracks
I want, I want you back
In a dress that's faded black
I want you back, I want you back

All the ways my mother taught me how
I want, I want you now
In any place you'll allow
I want you now, i want you now

It's never very hard stayin' true
When i'm stayin' true to you
And your kisses are all i think about
The proof is in your moves and your grooves
And the little things you do
And the silly things you laugh about

I called, you came
I called, you came
It seems to be our only way
I'll be dreamin' of the kissin'
that I'm missin'
Truly wishin' that you listen
When I sweetly ask you to

Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby

All the ways you never ever had
I want, I want you bad
You know I'll never make you sad
I want you bad, I want you bad

As if I never said the words
I want, I want you first
Only thing that can quench my thirst
I want you first, I want you first

It's never very hard stayin' true
When I'm stayin' true to you
And your kisses are all i think about
The proof is in your moves and your grooves
And the little things you do
And the silly things you laugh about

I called, you came
I called, you came
It seems to be our only way
I'll be dreamin' of the kissin'
That I'm missin'
truly wishin' that you listen
When i sweetly ask you to

Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby

In a house thats by the tracks
I want, I want you back
In the dress that's faded black
I want you back, I want you back

All the ways my mother taught me how
I want, i want you now
In any place you'll allow
I want you now, I want you now

It's never very hard stayin' true
When i'm stayin' true to you
And your kisses are all i think about
The proof is in your moves and your grooves
And the little things you do
And the silly things you laugh about

I called, you came
I called, you came
It seems to be the only way
I'll be dreamin' of the kissin'
That I'm missin'
truly wishin' that you listen
When i simply say to you

Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hypocrite + Environment = Liar Liar Pants on Fire!

I'm all for the environment. I do my part, but am not an activist. I will not hound you to do your part, because everyone has different views on global warming and pollution. I don't know about global warming...but I do know that pollution does something to our planet, so I will continue to do my part. I compost, purchase organic food, in the summer I grow a lot of my own veggies or will purchase them from the farmer's market. I walk to work when I can, or car pool, I recycle, leave the grass clippings on the lawn, don't use herbicides or fertilizer and I try and choose products that will help me leave a smaller environmental foot print.

Well, now to the point. I recently was introduced to a cleaning product that is good for the
environment, safe for your family and an extremely strong cleaner. I sent the company an e-mail asking some questions and receive a very extensive reply telling me all about how wonderful the product is and how amazing it is for the environment. Later that week I see someone driving around advertising the same product ...driving an H3!!! I write down his phone number and call him asking more questions. He goes on for half an hour explaining the environmental impact of using toxic cleaners and how wonderful their stuff is and blah blah blah blah blah... Finally, I say to the guy, "Your product sounds great, too good to be true. However, I refuse to buy an environmentally friendly product, from a guy who drives one of the most unfriendly vehicles for the environment. Doesn't that make you a hypocrite?" His "uh, well uh" response was enough and I hung up.

Give me a break, learn to preach what you sell. If you are boasting your product is
environmentally friendly, you will attract a certain type of customer. A type that will detest you for your actual vehicle choice and will no longer believe what you say. I just took a walk on my lunch break, and walked by the gas station down the street. They just installed brand new pumps that say in huge letters "MOTHER NATURE'S FUEL". I'm pretty sure mother nature would walk to where she needed to go...or float or something. AND, to top it off, the guy was wiping the pumps down with extremely toxic cleaners, spilling everywhere to be later hosed into the sewers, then our rivers. After he walks over to his overflowing dumpster (filled with paper and other recyclable items) and throws the paper towel on the top.

Live how you want, just don't try to tell me one thing while showing me another. It is like the parents who tell their kids not to smoke...as they take a drag on their cigarette. Or the unwed teenage mother, trying to explain to her kids the importance of being in love and even married. This guy, who drives a vehicle that gets 12-16MPG, is lecturing me about my environmental foot print? Uh huh. When it comes to business, that's general marketing knowledge and ethics. Otherwise...it's common sense!

I lost my motivation...will you help me find it?

It's gone...and I wish I knew where it was. I haven't had it with me for a while now...just one day it got up and wondered away. I am losing things because of my lack of motivation...things I worked really hard to achieve in life and they are slipping away. If this upsets me so much why doesn't it make me want to try? I still bake, but that is my therapy. If I couldn't bake I would go crazy in this life, it gets me away to create something and makes me feel appreciated for once.
The thing I miss most...is my music. I started taking piano lessons when I was five-years-old. I still remember walking down the street to my piano teacher's house, music books in hand, for my weekly lesson. I progressed and when i was 16 was skipping entire grades in order to reach my goal. Piano was my ticket to university, the violin was my carry-on.
I started the violin in grade 4, they offered it through school. I wanted to learn the double bass, but this particular teach did not teach that instrument, so I grabbed the violin. I was 9 years old in the beginning, and quickly found I had a knack for the instrument. After leaving elementary school I joined the youth strings orchestra because violin was no longer offered through the schools. I barely practiced...but before I knew it, I was first chair in our orchestra. At 16 years I received a 3rd place award for the Royal Conservatory training. Third place out of CANADA! After graduating high school I continued to play with the orchestra, was accepted by a well known instructor at the university to help me train and be in the symphony. We played for the members of the symphony orchestra at an afternoon tea...I played a solo in the tango. I still remember how alive I felt...and how scared I was. I even played back-up violin for a local singers CD!
I foolishly changed my career path and chose not to go to school for music. I began to lose it from there...and one day it was gone. I had no piano when I moved out on my own, just a keyboard that I did not like playing on. That explains some. I recently received my grandparent's old piano and was extremely excited. I played for a few hours every day for 2 weeks. Then became busy with school. I have been out of school for 3 months now...and my urge to play has not returned. I am devastated. Music is so important to me. It's a huge attraction for me when someone makes music...so, why don't I want to?

I hope to find it soon, or at least find a muse. Someone or something to motivate me to be better and to be me.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

That familiar uncomfortable feeling...

This video was linked to me yesterday evening...

First off...amazing. The fact that they can create something like this baffles me. This robot was created by a company called Boston Dynamics who are "Dedicated to the science and art of how things move." This company also creates realistic human characters to be added to simulations for military training. Now going through their website I did notice that these characters are nothing compared to some of the people in video games today.

The robot in the video above is the BigDog. According to their site, "BigDog is powered by a gasoline engine that drives a hydraulic actuation system. So far, BigDog has trotted at 3.3 mph, climbed a 35 degree slope and carried a 120 lb load." They also created one calle
d RHex, which can go through brush and rough terrain, as well as swim:

Now for some reason...watching the BigDog video made me uneasy. I cannot quite place what it is that bothers me. The...creature...is almost lifelike. It stumbles, catches it self, and keeps going. While it was slipping on the ice I almost felt embarrassed for it, as I would for someone who fell in the same way. The feeling reminded me of dreams I had as a child. I would dream of being in a zoo...and I was standing outside a cage that displayed a faceless camel. Another dream I had was of a fuzzy white bug that would climb in my window and walk on me while I was in bed. This bug would electrocute you upon toughing it. These two dreams brought up the same uncomfortable feeling as this video does. The same feeling I get when I saw, twice in my life, some strange large gray bug, in this city. I thought it was a German Cockroach, but upon research, those bugs look nothing like what I saw. This bug could probably cover the length of the palm of
my hand.
I guess the feeling stems from the thought that something is off. The thought I get with the camel and bugs, that it shouldn't be there, and something isn't right. This robot is like a horse with no head. I think it would be a lot less threatening if they had made it look like something in particular. But instead it stems across an unreal thought and images from movies and games...to the real world. Now I wonder what thought most scares me...the fact that this being, walking and reacting like a living creature shouldn't be possible, but is. Or...the thought that this company has created this and imagining what else has been made in this world. The possibilities are insane when considering something like this.

One day, I believe, our inventions will be the end of us. Or...putting our inventions against each other.