Sunday, March 30, 2008

The 'Zoomers' tell me I can do anything I want...yet they are the ones holding the door closed...

Canada is booming, jobs everywhere. Companies are finding that they have to do more then just pay their employees well in order to keep them...because lately there is always something better out there. Companies are now offering anything from health packages to extra holidays and trips in order to keep employees. Money is not the only thing anymore. With all this growth, the different demographic groups are finding new opportunities. I recently read in Marketing Magazine that many employers are segmenting the working population into the following groups:
  • 35-40 male/female, married or single with no children, that is working up the ladder, but just cannot get to where they want to be.
  • 35- male/female who works very hard with no time for their family or anything else.
  • 25-30 male/female who live off their parent's wealth
  • 17+ who's parents are paying for all their education and will not have to work through school
  • 25 male/female who have a rich life, but no money. Huge debts.
  • 21 male/female who's parents paid for their first trip through school and will paying for the second right away because they could not find work with their first piece of paper.
All these groups are being pushed down by one major called the Zoomers. They are males, age of 44+ and control 77% of Canada's wealth. They travel more, own more homes and pay for more of their children's lives then any other member of the population. They are looking to live their life to the fullest. This is also the population that tells their children they are capable of doing anything they want, yet when you get to the door of opportunity, they are the same people that are shoving the bookcase up against the other side.

I recently applied for a position at a bio-diesel company that opened an office in my
town. I have experience working with oil and gas companies while I was working for an engineering company. I was the only female in that office and did very well, was one of the top inside sales reps. I also have the education required for the position they were filling. This company would not even return my phone calls. I sent in a resume and called several times and heard nothing. I finally went down to their office and inquired about the hiring process. The man at the desk looked at me, did not ask my name or my resume and said "We are currently looking for a different type of person. We can always keep your resumé on file." How did you know I wouldn't fit? You did not know my education, background, work experience anything. So it was either my age...or my tits. Take your pick I guess. I do know, they filled their office and are all men, 35+. So why, when I graduate with honours and am told by my program leader and instructor that I should pursue all these opportunities and that I can go so far in life...people of his same demographic group are shooting me down.

It is not the first time and will not be the last I am sure. At least sit me down, get to know me a little and then make your decision. I toured a local brewery last year, received a personal tour by one of the top management of the company due to a bad case of bear I had purchased. He even showed me their labs and bought me lunch in the restaurant. I spent almost 3 hours with him. After the tour was finished, he offered me a job on their marketing team, just on the spot. He was honest with me as well, and said that when he first saw me he never expected my personality and knowledge. So how do I change this? I did not take the job due to the fact I had just moved to get away from that city. But if I were to ever go back, I would call them first. Companies need to see that the Zoomers are not offering the promised opportunities, and when they all retire at the same will be in trouble.

I was taught by my parents to work hard and reach my goals the right way. I worked three jobs while in college the first time and worked full time my second way through. I now have 2 diplomas and no student loans, so do not tell me that our generation does not know the meaning of work and don't tell me that we are lazy and disrespectful...and stop asking me when I plan to have children!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Let Cam do your breast exam...

This ad was removed from the airways a few years ago. I remember seeing it a few times and it should have been kept on the air. As a woman, I found this advertisement very effective. It caught your attention and made you think. Breast cancer is something feared by all women, yet self examinations are something many do not do because they live by the "it won't happen to me" attitude. This ad makes you think, without scaring you. They are right...they're your breasts...YOU DO IT!

To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

End is the only part of the word
That I heard,
Call me morbid or absurd,
To me,
Coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word

When I go fishing
for the words
I am wishing you would say to me,
I am really only praying that
The words you'll soon be saying
Might betray
The way you feel about me

Friday, March 28, 2008

I'll give hugs just to get hugs...

After this week, all I want is a hug. Maybe a hug from a bird...that could fly me away, in the middle of the hug. A dear friend sensed my stress...and sent me this video. I guess from the fact that it brought tears to my eyes, must mean I am stressed and really do need a hug!!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

One of those bad lets smile!

I needed to smile and I'm sure other do as well...

These guys are my heroes...

Even better...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

If the train leaves...who will get on with me?

The words to this song touched me...

This Train

(sorry, embed wouldn't work)

Those low raspy voices always get to me. Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen is one I used to listen to a lot...all the versions on You Tube do NOT do the song justice, so I did not even want to post them.

More raspy voices...
I've always wanted to go as Velcro for Halloween with someone.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

For everyone else who needed a smile today...

Your physical self shows your emotions...

I'm tired and stressed, so I walked to work this morning, to wake me up and give me some time to myself. Fresh air and music is a good way to wake up. When I arrived at work I found an interesting article in my e-mail. This e-mail described how your body displays stress and emotion, so if you are not quite sure how exactly you are feeling, it may help.

The focus was on 3 major areas of the body.

  • Tension or pain in your neck and shoulder area is supposed to show that you have pent up anger you have not communicated.
  • Constriction in your throat and chest show sadness.
  • Tension in your stomach and belt line area show fear or anxiety.
Was an interesting article to read today. My shoulders and neck always hurt, my chiropractor has to continuously stretch them out for me. This area is where I carry my stress...and today it seems that there is a lump in my throat all the time. I am sitting at my desk in my office this morning, listening to my friend's experience yesterday when the vet gave him a card with the paw print of the dog he just lost...tears running down my cheeks. And here they come again, there must be something else causing these feelings. This is unlike me. In the meantime, walking to work, yoga and baking will be my release. Too bad I can't do them all at the same time. : )

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sometimes I feel like this poor guy...

I found this video a few years ago...and thought I would share.

I shed tears, not only for the one I did not know, but for my dear friend who lost her...

One of my very dear friend lost his dog early this morning. She had a bad reaction yesterday to a wasp sting, which resulted in her eventually suffering a stroke.
I did not know her, only received pictures and heard about her all the time. I still weep for her, and for my friend. Insane I know, that I cry for someone's dog, but it is more the pain, I know he is hurting and I wish i could take that away. I think it hits me harder because I almost lost my cat a few weeks ago, and just the thought and reminder that he will die some day, tears my heart out. I wish I could be there for him, and give him a hug. Losing a pet is losing a friend that fills a space no one else can. She was 14 years old and I know had a wonderful life and was loved. My friend was so strong, he said he kept going up until the point he told me this morning. So we shed some tears together.Rest in peace Mallory, I know you will be missed by your dear friend and owner. My thoughts are with you both today.
After the clouds, the sunshine,
after the winter, the spring,
after the shower, the rainbow,
for life is a changeable thing.
After the night, the morning,
bidding all darkness cease,
after life's cares and sorrows,
the comfort and sweetness of peace.

-Helen Steiner Rice

Friday, March 21, 2008

I found loneliness in the company of others...

How come...after working all day outside surrounded by people...I'm so lonely?
It's's like a stench that has saturated my skin...I can smell it in my hair.

by Joel Plaskett
I feel foolish
I wanna drink too much
You look Polish
Got a wicked sense of humor
I feel dizzy, and I want your touch
Let's get tipsy, and start a rumor.

I feel restless here
I can't sit still
Everybody at this party's got their fingers in the till
I bet their parents are ridiculously loaded
Let's get moving, before I'm loaded.

The dancers need a dancefloor,
The swingers gotta swing,
Fashionable people doing questionable things

I really like you, and I hope you like my band.
I like your boyfriend too,
Do you think he undersdtands
I can't remember, how he ended up out here.
But all good things have got to start somewhere.

I don't wanna hang around in someone elses scene
So ditch him, he's no good for you
Ditch him, do the switcheroo
Switch him, switch him up with me
Leave him in the ditch, and you can hitch a ride for free

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Who will win the Ultimate Showdown?

I'm in love with this video and song. So good...find the lyrics here

Now this is dancing...

Everyone should see this video at least once...


In a house thats by the tracks
I want, I want you back
In a dress that's faded black
I want you back, I want you back

All the ways my mother taught me how
I want, I want you now
In any place you'll allow
I want you now, i want you now

It's never very hard stayin' true
When i'm stayin' true to you
And your kisses are all i think about
The proof is in your moves and your grooves
And the little things you do
And the silly things you laugh about

I called, you came
I called, you came
It seems to be our only way
I'll be dreamin' of the kissin'
that I'm missin'
Truly wishin' that you listen
When I sweetly ask you to

Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby

All the ways you never ever had
I want, I want you bad
You know I'll never make you sad
I want you bad, I want you bad

As if I never said the words
I want, I want you first
Only thing that can quench my thirst
I want you first, I want you first

It's never very hard stayin' true
When I'm stayin' true to you
And your kisses are all i think about
The proof is in your moves and your grooves
And the little things you do
And the silly things you laugh about

I called, you came
I called, you came
It seems to be our only way
I'll be dreamin' of the kissin'
That I'm missin'
truly wishin' that you listen
When i sweetly ask you to

Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby

In a house thats by the tracks
I want, I want you back
In the dress that's faded black
I want you back, I want you back

All the ways my mother taught me how
I want, i want you now
In any place you'll allow
I want you now, I want you now

It's never very hard stayin' true
When i'm stayin' true to you
And your kisses are all i think about
The proof is in your moves and your grooves
And the little things you do
And the silly things you laugh about

I called, you came
I called, you came
It seems to be the only way
I'll be dreamin' of the kissin'
That I'm missin'
truly wishin' that you listen
When i simply say to you

Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby
Striptease for me, baby

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hypocrite + Environment = Liar Liar Pants on Fire!

I'm all for the environment. I do my part, but am not an activist. I will not hound you to do your part, because everyone has different views on global warming and pollution. I don't know about global warming...but I do know that pollution does something to our planet, so I will continue to do my part. I compost, purchase organic food, in the summer I grow a lot of my own veggies or will purchase them from the farmer's market. I walk to work when I can, or car pool, I recycle, leave the grass clippings on the lawn, don't use herbicides or fertilizer and I try and choose products that will help me leave a smaller environmental foot print.

Well, now to the point. I recently was introduced to a cleaning product that is good for the
environment, safe for your family and an extremely strong cleaner. I sent the company an e-mail asking some questions and receive a very extensive reply telling me all about how wonderful the product is and how amazing it is for the environment. Later that week I see someone driving around advertising the same product ...driving an H3!!! I write down his phone number and call him asking more questions. He goes on for half an hour explaining the environmental impact of using toxic cleaners and how wonderful their stuff is and blah blah blah blah blah... Finally, I say to the guy, "Your product sounds great, too good to be true. However, I refuse to buy an environmentally friendly product, from a guy who drives one of the most unfriendly vehicles for the environment. Doesn't that make you a hypocrite?" His "uh, well uh" response was enough and I hung up.

Give me a break, learn to preach what you sell. If you are boasting your product is
environmentally friendly, you will attract a certain type of customer. A type that will detest you for your actual vehicle choice and will no longer believe what you say. I just took a walk on my lunch break, and walked by the gas station down the street. They just installed brand new pumps that say in huge letters "MOTHER NATURE'S FUEL". I'm pretty sure mother nature would walk to where she needed to go...or float or something. AND, to top it off, the guy was wiping the pumps down with extremely toxic cleaners, spilling everywhere to be later hosed into the sewers, then our rivers. After he walks over to his overflowing dumpster (filled with paper and other recyclable items) and throws the paper towel on the top.

Live how you want, just don't try to tell me one thing while showing me another. It is like the parents who tell their kids not to they take a drag on their cigarette. Or the unwed teenage mother, trying to explain to her kids the importance of being in love and even married. This guy, who drives a vehicle that gets 12-16MPG, is lecturing me about my environmental foot print? Uh huh. When it comes to business, that's general marketing knowledge and ethics.'s common sense!

I lost my motivation...will you help me find it?

It's gone...and I wish I knew where it was. I haven't had it with me for a while now...just one day it got up and wondered away. I am losing things because of my lack of motivation...things I worked really hard to achieve in life and they are slipping away. If this upsets me so much why doesn't it make me want to try? I still bake, but that is my therapy. If I couldn't bake I would go crazy in this life, it gets me away to create something and makes me feel appreciated for once.
The thing I miss my music. I started taking piano lessons when I was five-years-old. I still remember walking down the street to my piano teacher's house, music books in hand, for my weekly lesson. I progressed and when i was 16 was skipping entire grades in order to reach my goal. Piano was my ticket to university, the violin was my carry-on.
I started the violin in grade 4, they offered it through school. I wanted to learn the double bass, but this particular teach did not teach that instrument, so I grabbed the violin. I was 9 years old in the beginning, and quickly found I had a knack for the instrument. After leaving elementary school I joined the youth strings orchestra because violin was no longer offered through the schools. I barely practiced...but before I knew it, I was first chair in our orchestra. At 16 years I received a 3rd place award for the Royal Conservatory training. Third place out of CANADA! After graduating high school I continued to play with the orchestra, was accepted by a well known instructor at the university to help me train and be in the symphony. We played for the members of the symphony orchestra at an afternoon tea...I played a solo in the tango. I still remember how alive I felt...and how scared I was. I even played back-up violin for a local singers CD!
I foolishly changed my career path and chose not to go to school for music. I began to lose it from there...and one day it was gone. I had no piano when I moved out on my own, just a keyboard that I did not like playing on. That explains some. I recently received my grandparent's old piano and was extremely excited. I played for a few hours every day for 2 weeks. Then became busy with school. I have been out of school for 3 months now...and my urge to play has not returned. I am devastated. Music is so important to me. It's a huge attraction for me when someone makes, why don't I want to?

I hope to find it soon, or at least find a muse. Someone or something to motivate me to be better and to be me.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

That familiar uncomfortable feeling...

This video was linked to me yesterday evening...

First off...amazing. The fact that they can create something like this baffles me. This robot was created by a company called Boston Dynamics who are "Dedicated to the science and art of how things move." This company also creates realistic human characters to be added to simulations for military training. Now going through their website I did notice that these characters are nothing compared to some of the people in video games today.

The robot in the video above is the BigDog. According to their site, "BigDog is powered by a gasoline engine that drives a hydraulic actuation system. So far, BigDog has trotted at 3.3 mph, climbed a 35 degree slope and carried a 120 lb load." They also created one calle
d RHex, which can go through brush and rough terrain, as well as swim:

Now for some reason...watching the BigDog video made me uneasy. I cannot quite place what it is that bothers me. almost lifelike. It stumbles, catches it self, and keeps going. While it was slipping on the ice I almost felt embarrassed for it, as I would for someone who fell in the same way. The feeling reminded me of dreams I had as a child. I would dream of being in a zoo...and I was standing outside a cage that displayed a faceless camel. Another dream I had was of a fuzzy white bug that would climb in my window and walk on me while I was in bed. This bug would electrocute you upon toughing it. These two dreams brought up the same uncomfortable feeling as this video does. The same feeling I get when I saw, twice in my life, some strange large gray bug, in this city. I thought it was a German Cockroach, but upon research, those bugs look nothing like what I saw. This bug could probably cover the length of the palm of
my hand.
I guess the feeling stems from the thought that something is off. The thought I get with the camel and bugs, that it shouldn't be there, and something isn't right. This robot is like a horse with no head. I think it would be a lot less threatening if they had made it look like something in particular. But instead it stems across an unreal thought and images from movies and the real world. Now I wonder what thought most scares me...the fact that this being, walking and reacting like a living creature shouldn't be possible, but is. Or...the thought that this company has created this and imagining what else has been made in this world. The possibilities are insane when considering something like this.

One day, I believe, our inventions will be the end of us. Or...putting our inventions against each other.

The power of the force has stopped you, you hosers.

I was recently talking to a dear friend, who is a few years younger then myself. I mentioned the good old McKenzie brothers....and he said, "Who?" I asked him what kind of Canadian he was if he didn't know who they were! Apparently we are losing this. So here is a quick lesson.I am a proud Canadian, I have lived in this country my entire life and cannot think of anything that would make me leave. I am not political, so don't start telling me things about our government issues or bitch about our health care. I love the people, the land, the openness and just the thought. Bob and Doug McKenzie are a legacy that needs to be carried through the generations and never forgotten! These two characters were introduced in 1980 on SCTV. I have very early memories of watching SCTV and Bob and Doug's skit, The Great White North. Bob is played by Rick Moranis and Doug is Dave Thomas. Canadians loved these guys because we enjoy making fun of ourselves and Americans loved them before they love making fun of us too! These guys created the stereotype that is still perceived today. They sat around wearing heavy winter clothing, toque and all, which became a fad. The plaid shirts and puffball toques were seen in may crowds in the 80s. They drank beer, from the stubby bottle. Used words such as eh and hoser on a regular basis.

These guys were icons then and still now. They were used in ads,
stamps, clothing, shows, special events and so much more. They released 2 comedy albums and a movie (Strange Brew). Molson Canadian used Bob and Doug to launch an advertising campaign in the US. The Americans thought it was great, making fun of us, thought they had the upper hand. We loved it because Bob and Doug were being themselves.
Bob and Doug's twenty-fourth anniversary was recently released on DVD. It included many actors, Canadian and American, speaking of their memories and experiences with Bob and Doug on TV. A past Prime Minister even made an appearance to commemorate these characters. Bob and Doug helped build the stereotype that other countries hold of us and helped us make fun of ourselves, and play into the stereotype...even though some of it is true for most of us.

A classic for every Christmas.

Well there it is. I could go on and on but no real point. I encourage all those Canadians that have not seen the Two-Four anniversary to check it out! Keep it alive. Before writing my other topic...I need to take a Yoga break...

Saturday, March 15, 2008


This video brings tears to my the end.

I find this incredibly amazing...

Always classic

I love it...

Why are you untouchable?

think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but
you're perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

two-thirty in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
a safe haven of sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down
the top 20 country songs
and out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
y'know, i don't look forward
to seeing you again soon
you'll look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won't know what to do
and i won't know what to say

except fuck you...

i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...

Canadian signs...

Due to my schooling in Marketing, I am always paying attention to ad campaigns and other promotional items. One that really caught my eye over the past few years is the Canadian Tire advertising campaign.
The Canadian Tire Guy (Ted Simonett) was the common face on CT ads before the change was made in 2005. The company hired a new ad agency who felt that Simonett was no longer effective due to parodies showing up on This Hour Has 22 Minutes and the Royal Canadian Air Farce. Due to the parodies being quite successful I feel CT missed out an on opportunity to take the humour and use it to their advantage. They used him to explain and demonstrate certain products in a home environment, with his on screen wife Gloria. The ads worked well at reaching a mid-life target market but the growing market of 20 to 30 year-olds who were still not married and settled down helped justify the switch. Many rumors circle Simonett's disappearance from the ads, no one seems to have the full story.

The new ads are a series of situations, with a twist of humor, that results in the sign above the isle in the stores coming down on the situation. The series was well done and gets to the point. Some extremely funny and some so true that it's sad and funny at the same time.

I was unable to embed this one. Closet Solutions

There are many more ads made and hopefully more on the way. Good change...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Simon's Cat

I had to share this.

The original one I saw...

Tour de....Pants??

I had one of those situations today...the 'what if' is back at me. What if I wouldn't have said anything...or even better, what if what I said was in fact a lie, instead of the truth. I wish I wasn't telling the truth...but I am. I'm sorry. The tears have sprung to my eyes once in order to not dwell...let me talk about...Jared...

So, this guy, Jared Fogle lost 245 lbs on the so called 'subway diet'. So, tell me this...if I ate nothing but white bread, processed meats and some veggies...can I make tons of money and gain fame by flashing my old pants on TV for 10 years? Yes? OK! I have a pair of my fat pants in the closet, from the good old days of weighing 180lbs when I was 14, let me dig them out for you! You can take pictures, touch them, hell, lick them! Oh, I'll just tell you I did it while eating from Subway...and ignore the fact that it was hard work and determination that made me who I am today.

I don't understand why this guy is so popular...honestly. I do love however, that South Park did an episode with the icon Jared. He was touring, so the boys had the great idea to get Butters fat and then have him lose weight eating City Wok and making an add. Jared runs around this episode telling everything that he lost weight by having AIDS, and that he'll 'give AIDS to everyone'! The assumption that the virus is what made him lose weight makes the show special. However, he means aids, as in personal trainers and such. I cannot find a specific clip for a part with Jared, but here is a small clip of what Jared's fame encourages these kids to do...

Now to top all this off, Jared is now touring with his 'fat pants'. They named the tour Tour de Pants...funny? He's been working with Subway for 10 years, and outlasted 4 ad agencies. Obviously, he means something to consumer and there has to be a reason he's still around. His pants may represent hope for a certain piece of the population and I respect that. However, I read that they may end up in a museum after!! So this is what it takes to get into museums these days, some dude's pants that he wore before losing weight while eating Subway.

Well that's OK I guess. Have to go with the flow right? hmmmm...I think I'll go get Subway! Or even better, I'll eat something healthy made in my own kitchen, and keep my fat pants in my use as a tent later in life. ; )

Monday, March 10, 2008

I've been shadow boxing...

My body hurts today. It's like I've been beaten up, I am battered and bruised...without the bruises. I am not sure where this pain is coming from. My muscles hurt on the back of my thighs and butt, and my arms... I sat and wondered what I had done differently, and could think of nothing. I also pulled something in my neck sleeping Saturday night, and it is still a bit sore. So why this pain and invisible bruises? Why does my skin hurt to the touch?

I was cleaning the office before we open and had to take a break from it, from work, from life. I went in the back room and did some breathing and yoga. To try and clear my mind and body. The pain is still there, but not as least for my body. Well I hope that the day passes well. Apparently I'm a shadow boxer...and I must have lost last nights round...

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I run away and you still stay...

One of those days, doing dishes while listening to music and a song comes on and it makes me think..."I know how he feels".

How did it start?
Well, I dont know.
I just feel the craving.
I see the flesh and it smells fresh.
And it's just there for the taking.
These little girls they make me feel so god damn
I feel them up, I can't give it up.
The pain that I'm just erasing.

I tell my lies and I despise.
Every second I'm with you.
So I run away and you still stay.
So what the fuck is with you.

Your feelings I can't help but rape them.
I'm sorry I don't feel the same.
My heart inside is constantly hating.
I'm sorry I just throw you away.

I don't know why I'm so fucking cold?
I dont know why it hurts me.
All I wanna do is get with you.
And make the pain go away.
Why do I have a conscience?
All it does is fuck with me.
Why do I have this torment?
All I want to do is fuck it away.

I tell my lies and I despise.
Every second I'm with you.
So I run away and you still stay.
So what the fuck is with you.

Your feelings I can't help but rape them.
I'm sorry I don't feel the same.
My heart inside is constantly hating.
I'm sorry I just throw you away.

I tell my lies and I despise.
Every second I'm with you.
So I run away and you still stay.
So what the fuck is with you.

Your feelings I can't help but rape them.
I'm sorry I don't feel the same.
My heart inside is constantly hating.
I'm sorry I just throw you away.

Friday, March 7, 2008

The 'what ifs' can haunt you...

Have you ever met someone, and wondered what would have happened if you would have met them at another time or under different circumstances? How would your relationship be, how would it have progressed? Where would you have met, doing what and would you have even hit it off if the cards were different?

I speak of this in terms of friendships, relationships, flings, infatuations and love. Under all these categ
ories I've wondered. I have met people through work, had amazing conversations and though, if I met you in a total different environment, would we have ended up being good friends? Or would we walk by each other and never notice. That girl that sat and told me stories that made me want to listen to her all day, would be be sitting in a coffee shop sharing our lives? Now and then I meet someone who catches me, completely throws me off course. Someone who has every aspect on my list of attractions (including for friendships) that I am taken aback. And the more I talk to them, the more they read from my list. I cannot help but wonder, what if. I wonder if it would have worked, or if it was too much, or if it would even last. What if we lived in the same city, met 5 years ago, or did not have this age gap between us.
Five years ago, if you would have asked me where I would be at this age, I would have never guessed in a million years I would be here, right now. My life turned out nothing like I had expected...and I guess that is normal, I do not know. People don't usually talk about what they had hoped and dreamed, they talk about the now and what they hate or love right now. So if life was completely different I wonder who I would have met to shape my life. Every single person has had an impact on who I am today. And those few people out there that caught my attention, that made me think what if, would I have even crossed their path if life was completely different? If not...why am I meeting them now? Infatuation comes easily to me, with music, lifestyles, fashions and of course people. Curiosity and the need for something different pushes me to pursue those people that get in my head and are stuck there, make my heart race.

So why am I always stuck, with this situation, of wondering what if? It haunts me, invades my dreams and my days. Maybe in another life, or this life. But for now, get out of my head. What is, is. We move on and I will continue to pay attention to those that have captured it and enjoy their company in all the ways that I can. And maybe next time we cross, things will be different.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Now the devil, she must be a dentist

So I have a new dentist. After some unfortunate things happening at my previous dentist, it was time to change. This dentist decided I needed my one wisdom tooth I have left removed so he sent me to a I use the term 'specialist' loosely.

I walk into this older office, personally, you'd think someone who makes as much money as a dentist would be able to have a nic
e office to represent them. I took time off work and closed the office in order to get to this 'consultation'. 15 minutes late they take me to the back. I walk in the back room to see rows of dental chairs...turn a corner down a small hallway and emerge from the hallway right into some guy asleep on a table with two people in scrubs stuffing their bloody hands in his mouth. The assistant I was following quickly closed the curtain and ushered me down another hall.

As she's talking to me, I cannot even focus, all I can picture is these tables side by side and this guy right out in the open getting surgery done. She starts going over the procedure of being put to sleep and I interrupt. Absolutely not, I've never gone under and I never intend to if I can help it. I don't need to be put to sleep to have a tooth pulled, give me a break. S
he starts going on about moving and pain and everything so I explained to her...

I had my other wisdom tooth pulled while I was in getting routine fillings done. My mouth was frozen and the dentist said "while you're froze, do you want me to pull this out?" I said, "uuuuh, ok..." and he said "ok lets prep for surgery!". I was shocked but it was done, a little shaky and I went to work right after. So don't
give me crap about pain and other excuses.

I left the consultation feeling sick to my stomach and shaky, I went back to work thinking there is no way I can bring myself to go there for this procedure...

After going through years of braces, retainers and even headgear (that's right, don't laugh) dentists are the least of my fears. I am not afraid! Just cut me open and rip it out, but PLEASE don't put me to sleep...that is what terrifies me. So scary...

If I am lucky, i will never have to be put to sleep. I'll keep all my parts and tough it out thanks.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I'm always interested in new music, and due to my vast taste I tend to find bands I like quite easily. Sometimes all I want to hear is 80s rock, the next day it's folk and the day after it's ICP and other loud angry bands.

Today, this song caught my is something I find very attractive. Must be a reason I spent my teenage years following bands.

Speaking of guys who can sing being hot...Across the Universe, amazing movie. I'm not usually one for blonds...but Joe Anderson is an exception.

Oh, lets add Cake on here too, a band I can listen to any time.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Dammit Jim I'm a broad...not a damsel!

Don't give me that crap...don't call me cutie, baby doll, skirt, babe or piece. I am not a delicate flower and I don't need you to carry that for me. The stereotype needs to stop in this generation. Accept it, not all of us are the same...let me tell you:
  • I hate shopping
  • mmmm beer...(need I say more)
  • I change the tires and oil for my car
  • I'm a gamer
  • I love action movies and HATE chick flicks
  • I have one girlfriend (the rest are guys) and no we don't sit around wasting our time talking about boys, shoes OR make-up
  • I've never had a make-over, pedicure, manicure or spent time in a tanning booth
  • I've had my head shaved because my mom was tired of picking sticks and gum out of my hair
  • I have a dirtier mind then most guys I know
  • Camping....ooooh camping
  • I've taught all my boyfriends (the few that there were) how to gut a fish
A guy I dated took me to a Christmas party. We sat at the table and I ended up sitting with a bunch of guys beside me and he ended up with a bunch of girls beside him. Half an hour into the evening he looks over and says "Do you want to switch places so the girls can chat?" Are you kidding me? No I don't want to sit with the girls and chat...
Now don't get me wrong, I love to bake, garden and I do clean my house (sadly with not much choice) but that does not mean I cannot fend for myself. I also take care of myself, work out, dress nice and try my best to look nice. With this in mind I get up at 6:30 and leave the house at 7:15. This short time includes, shower, breakfast, getting ready (dressed, hair, make-up), feeding the cats, making my lunch and coffee. I lived with a girl roommate and she took a MINIMUM of 2 hours to get ready. No wonder you guys are so confused...

I worked in a department store with the logistics team who were all men. I was building a huge shelving unit, laying under it with my drill putting the pieces together. I stood up to lift up a section I had build and some dude, a customer, comes over and offers to do it for me. I also had other guys offer to carry the shelves for me. Give me a break man, get over yourself, I don't need you to do it for me. I also worked for an engineering company who
made heating elements. I was inside sales and inventory manager, well trained in the development of these heaters. I worked with only men and all our customers were men. I had at least 30 times someone call and says "Can I speak to a salesman?". After firmly explaining I can help them most complied. One guy actually said that he'd rather talk to a I transferred him to the new guy, who had no clue what he was doing.
Now please, give me my sexy cars, video games and hot can keep your make-up, diamonds and shoes. How dare you think I want to "chat" with the girls just because I have the same dare you think I am not strong, and most of all don't you dare determine my interests. I'll do that for myself thanks. If I can survive business school, with classes of 80% males that are at least 5 years younger then me (and graduate with honors), I'm sure I can carry a shelf or build your heater.

Like any post, they spring from somewhere. Most of my posts are written out of interest, lust, frustration or anger. As you can tell, this one is based on the last 2 of the four. Just remember, not all girls are the same, and those of us who are very different will get very insulted and angry when you tell us we're just like the rest. Believe what you want because you'll end up with that girl that spends all your money, bitches in your ear, makes you late cause she's "primping" and never wants to get dirty.

Let me be equal, don't sensor around me and believe me, I've heard it all...